Recap: Series 2 Episode 2: Enough is Enough (No More Tears)

March 18, 2022 by Torran

In which all dolls and no poop makes Mr Hubble a full boy.

Miranda Bailey stares at the head of a Black doll, with an afro, that she has just pulled out of a patient's intestines. — *“Some men have to find a way to turn everything into a weird sex thing, don’t they?”*

Previously on Grey’s Anatomy: Derek and Addison used to be married, but she cheated on him and he left both her and New York! Burke is running the hospital while Webber recovers from brain surgery! George is dating Olivia, who used to date Alex (who George punched because he was the ultimate source of the syphilis)! Christina is pregnant by Burke and he doesn’t know and they just broke up! George is in love with Meredith! Meredith and Derek have broken up!

We don’t “say when” because there’s something about the possibility of more. More tequila, more love, more anything – more is better.

It’s the morning after the drinking session the night before, and oh dear. Penises, oestrogen and tequila are all variously to blame for the two hours of vomiting Meredith and Christina are doing this morning, as expressed to a puzzled George and a resigned Izzie. Despite the voiceover, more tequila is apparently not better. Many of the secrets are out of the bag, and everyone knows that Christina was sleeping with Burke, as well as the Dumping of Derek Shepherd. George is trying his best to do “concerned friend” while actually just confirming that Meredith is single now. That’s kind of a creeper move, dude. No one is talking about the pregnancy so I assume that’s still under wraps, but Meredith feels… empty.

Also a creeper move is Derek waiting to ambush her at the hospital. It seems he’s surprised that his big emotional trailer reveal hasn’t made her forgive him for NOT TELLING HER HE WAS MARRIED. Christ. I’m here for the description of Addison Shepherd as leggy and fabulous. Points for accuracy, Meredith! She’s now a “sink with an open drain” – anything he says runs right out. I’m also with Izzie, you also get points for any formation of a metaphor when you’re very hungover.

Burke is enjoying his power as Chief enormously by ruining Derek’s day right as he walks into the hospital – he’s bumping Derek out of his OR later due to an incoming organ donor. I guess if someone has to be bumped, might as well enjoy yourself while you’re doing it! The interns have run off and gotten ready very quickly, because shortly after we’re in the ambulance bay with Bailey, receiving a car crash victim. The guy is DOA, but George and Meredith are given the task of trying to save him. He objects, but Bailey’s clear – he’s not dead until they say he’s dead, and until then, they will do everything they can.

George gets to be awkward with both Meredith and Olivia in the same room, while they work in a (futile) attempt to save an (obviously dead) patient. More victims of the crash are arriving, and the first one we meet is a dude who was already on the liver transplant list before he got in a crash. He’s alive, though, so it’s an improvement on the last one. He’s going straight into surgery with Burke, some doctor whose name I didn’t catch and didn’t bother to rewind to find out, and Izzie, while Karev looks after the son and Izzie gets the mum. It’s a family affair!

Having handed off the emergent cases, Bailey gets handed one more… a creepy-looking guy who appears to have swallowed a load of packages full of drugs. She pulls Meredith from Obviously Dead Guy (who’s now getting yet extensive procedures done, despite George’s wish to call it) onto Bowel Obstruction Guy. At least your patient is still alive, fumes George, and with that… Cue titles!

The titlecard for Grey's Anatomy — *Goddamnit the goddamn musical titles are back. I’m out of witty things to say, I just want the sound of (what I’m pretty sure are) glockenspiels to go away.*

Webber is proving the adage about doctors making the worst patients 100% true, trying to stop Derek finish examining him. You had brain surgery for your vision, Webber. Let him check your vision! In walks a fabulous woman, mocking Richard’s devotion to his job, and yep, it’s his wife, Adele (played by the wonderful Loretta Devine). She’s supposed to be in the Virgin Islands, because he had brain surgery and didn’t tell his wife. Yep. She is pissed and I really can’t blame her! She found out because Derek called her – partly for revenge (“you called mine”, heh), partly because he’s not willing to discharge Webber unless he has someone to care for him at home.

Enter Addison, and it looks like she and Adele know each other too! Cue a brief moment where Adele assumes Derek and Addison are back together, which he brutally shoots down. He thinks they’re completely over, she points out the lack of divorce, and when asked about counselling, declares “we had adultery, that was enough”. Ouch. Off Addison pops, and Derek (with a kiss on the cheek) completely ignores Adele’s advice to give Addison a chance, in favour of getting out of there and leaving Adele alone to scold a guilty-looking Richard some more.

We get to meet the other members of the car-crash family, starting with the son. He’s having an X-ray, presumably to confirm his spine isn’t damaged, but is mostly pre-occupied with whether his mum’s okay. That’s when we start to get the story, with his mum chiming in with her version of events throughout (oh hi, future Finn’s mum from Glee!). The son says the dad was mad from an argument at breakfast and drives destructively when angry. Someone cut him off on the freeway, and he saw red, chased the other car through traffic at high speed and caused the crash. She claims they had a lovely day, he’s a really safe driver, swerved to avoid something in the road, and the crash came out of nowhere.

The mum is concerned about whether the surgeons know her husband has a bad liver, and how her son is doing. The son is concerned about how his dad was doing, but brutally unsympathetic. As he puts it, “the son of a bitch got what he deserved”. Well, damn. Over in the dad’s surgery, it’s not good. He wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, which is a poor beginning. Burke’s repaired the heart, and the other surgeon can repair the bowel. The liver, though, is toast. They ask if he has any family, and at that moment we cut to Christina is examining the mum further. She finds evidence of old injuries that the mum tries (and fails) to blame on the crash.

George is still trying and failing to resuscitate dead guy, at a leisurely pace. Bailey’s still not done with him – do they not need these resources for patients who could possibly survive? – and instructs him to do one further procedure, before he’s allowed to call it. Bailey asks him why they’re doing this to the man, and George thinks it’s for the experience, but she says he’s missing something. Working it out is his other task while performing this last attempt at resurrection.

Creepy Impacted Bowel Guy (Mr Hubble) is refusing to tell Meredith what he swallowed, but is insisting on talking about how delicate and porcelain-like her features are. He’s worried whatever it is might offend her, but promises it’s not drugs. The results from the imaging? It’s drugs. Over to yet more imaging, and Scott (Car Crash Son) has come away from the accident mostly fine. Less so, Lea (his mum), whose X-rays get Bailey’s medical opinion of “daaaaamn!”. She is a has a lot of old, poorly healed fractures, and Bailey makes the assessment that she’s likely being abused.

Alex chimes in with the son’s version of the car crash, which Christina notes is different to her patient’s. Lea also has internal bleeding, and needs bed rest (and I won’t repeat the rest of the victim-blaming line Christina comes out with. Bad, Christina). We need cheering up, so here comes Meredith, with a scan full of balloons of drugs in Mr Hubble’s scans. It’s only now, examining them with Alex, Bailey and Izzie, that the truth comes to light (literally). Alex remarks that one of them looks like it has a face, and Bailey finally recognises what she’s seeing – Mr Hubble has ingested the heads of 10 ‘Judy’ dolls (do you think they didn’t want to be sued by Mattel? I think they didn’t want to be sued by Mattel). And that X-ray is creepy as all heck. Thanks for the nightmares!

The visible features of an x-ray of two dolls heads as illuminated on a lightbox are in frame, seemingly staring at the camera. — *Deep in Mr Hubble’s bowels… Hiding where it’s dark and foul… Waiting for the sun’s retreat… Coming for you when you sleep…*

We’re still on the topic of Judy dolls; who had them, who didn’t, who used to shave and dissect them (not Alex, which is surprising, but Christina, which is not). Christina goes on an epic feminist rant, only to be cut short by Bailey. Mr Hubble needs a psych consult, because who swallows doll heads without being a little disturbed, and also surgery. The OR is exactly where we go next, in fact, just not with Mr Hubble – Car Crash Guy is still on the table and there’s no way to salvage the liver, and no transplant match from UNOS. A family donor is his only hope, and they’ve got six hours to find one.

George is doing something to Really Dead Guy’s heart while talking to Olivia. After the small talk about how hard it is to break it to family members, she decides then is the time to apologise about Alex. OVER AN ALMOST-CERTAINLY DEAD PATIENT. Why?! George is getting increasingly worked up while doing whatever he’s doing – he doesn’t want to talk about this. Ever again. Olivia’s trying to explain the timeline but really, come on, is now the time? She sees he’s getting worked up, and drops it… Only to bring up the syphilis! Props to the actress, because this is funny as scenes go, but even so, this is ridiculous. He gets a page from the Chief just as he’s finishing, and it’s time to call time – of death, and clearly on their relationship, too.

Scott, car crash boy, is doing this rhythmic tapping thing against the sides of his bed, presumably as a stress/emotion thing. Karev notes the behaviour and tries to distract the guy with the story of the ridiculous Judy doll head guy, but seemingly to no avail. Scott is still upset, battling tears. Alex takes a deep breath, and dives in, using his own experiences of being a kid and dealing with an abusive father, and blaming yourself for not stopping it, to try and empathise and calm Scott down. Scott does seem to calm, a little, and asks whether she told him. Alex explains that the x-rays make it obvious, then asks whether Scott is being abused too, which thankfully he isn’t. When asked how to deal with the anger, he suggests thinking about the guy who eats doll heads. Cue, Izzie, with the news about his dad.

Lea (car crash mum) explains that the dad was a drinker, essentially, and that’s what’s done his liver in. He stopped drinking, but his blood type is quite rare (B-, about 2% of the population), so finding a match is difficult. Scott has been tested and is a good match, but hasn’t made his mind up yet, which seems entirely reasonable. Christina is clearly against the son being pressured into giving his dad a liver (or giving him a liver at all). Lea is upset by the idea of losing her husband, which shouldn’t surprise anyone, because domestic abuse is complicated, but Christina doesn’t get that. At all. She pops off at Burke in the hallway, who lectures her about medical ethics (fair) before she storms off (also fair), still angry at him for leaving her.

Meredith is seeking an OR for urgent removal of the dolls from Mr Hubble (props to Patricia doing an impression of the dolls here – “help! Let me out!”), so Burke gives her instructions to bump someone. He retreats to his office, only to find its been invaded by Adele Webber, gathering material for Richard to “obsess over” from home. She’s talking about him being a workaholic a lot this episode, and clearly the way there’s always something, the work never stopping, bothers her. She was hoping the tumour might get him to retire. That gets Burke’s attention (who has been politely zoning her out). That’s what he wants too. She departs, but not before launching a backhanded compliment about how detached and obsessive he is. Ha!

Izzie’s breaking the news about his dad to Scott, bluntly – he won’t survive the surgery without a liver, so Scott has hours in which to decide. Izzie clearly wants him to donate, and is giving him the best version of events, with none of the risks (although the fact that your liver regenerates IS pretty cool). Alex is more realistic. She doesn’t know it yet, but this is hitting home for him, and he knows more or less what Scott is thinking. He’s also right that she is way out of line trying to talk him into it.

Richard is finally leaving the hospital! George is getting very conflicting messaging from Dr and Mrs Webber. They’re bickering about how often Webber should be contacted, how much he should work while in recovery, pretty much everything you’d expect. They stroll past the psych consult for Mr Hubble, who basically gives a giant shrug. Patient’s not talking, he doesn’t know. Could be a sex thing, which Bailey does NOT want to hear.

She also doesn’t want to defend Meredith when Addison wants to take her aside. She’s surmised that Meredith knows about the whole adultery thing. Meredith also doesn’t want to hear any of it – she’s not involved, which seems to cheer Addison up. It doesn’t stop Addison trying to explain that she acted out of desperation, there are two sides. Etc. Meredith walks off out of sheer “done”-ness. I pause to take a screen cap of Addison. We all win.

Addison Shepherd, holding a clipboard and with one hand on her hip, looks away from the camera as Meredith Grey (out of frame) walks away from her — *“What if I told you I shot a man in Reno, would you stop and listen to me then?”*

It’s time for that time-honoured Seattle Grace tradition, discussing your patient’s private medical and personal history in the public cafeteria. HIPAA had been law for nine years, people. The ethics of the son’s donation to an abusive father, who has also just caused a car accident that killed someone, is the topic. If Scott doesn’t donate, will he feel like a murderer? Or is he justified in not wanting to save his father? Karev has prepared a centrepiece of headless dolls on the table, which is amusing. Olivia comes over to see George, who ghosts her(?). Everyone is confused. He insists it’s not the syphilis, and Izzie quickly twigs that it’s because Meredith is single now and he’s still holding… less of a torch and more of a flamethrower for her.

Meredith is obviously still confused, and forces Izzie to say that there’s another girl. Christina thinks he has another girlfriend which, honestly, no. The clarification comes that he likes someone else he hasn’t told, all over George telling her to shut up. He admits that he there is someone else he likes, and that just pisses Meredith off. He’s stringing Olivia along, pretending to be available when he’s not. Yes, yes, Meredith, we see the parallel. Christina chimes in to lecture him on this too, “because oestrogen”. Honestly, he’s lucky they didn’t pick up the headless dolls and beat him with them.

Meredith is trying to figure out why Mr Hubble ate the doll heads, but he’s evasive when questioned, so they go ahead and do his surgery. All of our interns and Bailey are hand-searching his bowel for ‘Judy’ heads, while speculating over the cause. George finds one to pull out, and it turns out Bailey is bit of a collector and can recognise them. She’s going to have to do the last few with just Meredith, though, because George has been assigned to another “dead” patient (organ donor on life support), and the other three have to go get an answer regarding the liver.

It’s Olivia and George, again, over a patient who arrived “dead”, again. He makes a crack about this one’s heart still beating which, George, come on. Speaking of, the dead guy from earlier’s family are inbound, so he’ll have to talk to them later. He’s clearly learned some of Bailey’s lesson, because checks on the donor to make sure she’s actually braindead. While he’s doing that, Olivia is dropping hints about how, if they’re broken up, he should talk to her about it. Fair point. Interrupted, though, because the patient responds to a knuckle to the sternum! Her brain stem is still alive! The harvest team comes down and, despite George’s objections, take her away.

Alex pulls a wheelchair up to Scott’s room, and takes him our for some air, while the liver transplant becomes a “we need an answer right now” decision. Lea wants to talk to her son, to talk him into it, but Christina resists. The mum knows why – Christina is judging her for wanting to save her husband. Lea’s not wrong, and Christina proves that abundantly by listing all the things that make her husband a bad person. She says that love has its limits, which is true, but fails to acknowledge the complexity of the situation. No, Christina!

George has decided to get Derek to put on his superhero cape and come save the day – and the decerebrate donor. He challenges the transplant team, and Burke has his back, while Meredith and Christina look on. They, like us, were clearly expecting another pissing contest. Scott is expressing his fears to Alex. What if his dad goes back to hitting his mum; etc. Izzie comes up to them, needing an answer, but Alex waves her off for a moment to respond to Scott’s question about what he did with his anger. He got big, and strong, and beat the crap out of his dad, who then left them. He wishes he hadn’t done it. Izzie’s heard all this, and apologises for interrupting – but it’s decision time.

Scott, Lea and the doctors are gathered. Lea asks Burke when the surgery would be, which is right now. After a few minutes, he finally settles. He’ll donate, but Lea has to tell the truth to the police, and they’re moving out. Enough is enough. She nods, crying. Christina (outside the room, at least), tells Burke Lea is just going to go back to the dad, but Burke says that they don’t know that, and she echoes that it’s not their call. He finally shows that he might care, and checks that she’s okay. She’s not, but says so long as she can scrub in, she’s fine. Lies!

Derek’s done examining the decerebrate donor, and she’s not braindead! Her brain tumour is operable, and he’s going to go do just that. He also asks George to look out for Meredith, which, sure? George immediately gets paged to the OR, because really dead guy from the beginning of the episode’s family are here. He seems to have had a Moment of Growth, though, because he tells the whole, unvarnished truth about liking someone else to Olivia, and they part on decent terms. He’s also solved Bailey’s other task – about why they work so hard on patients with almost no chance of bringing them back. It’s so they can honestly tell the family they did everything they could. I call bullshit.

After that soppy moment, we shift to Derek and Addison in the elevator. He queries what she told Meredith about the adultery. She repeats her line from earlier, about people doing desperate things to attract attention. He’s incredulous that the adultery was about getting his attention, but she explains that at that point she just wanted sex. They got successful, and lazy, and stopped paying attention to each other. She’s trying to apologise to him, but he steals Meredith’s terrible sink metaphor from earlier, and walks off.

Speaking of desperate acts, Mr Hubble is happy that they got all the dolls heads out of him. Meredith lets him know it was a deeply unpleasant experience for the surgeons. He states that he feels empty, which is also how Meredith feels. She asks him again what the satisfaction of eating doll heads is, and he’s considering telling her. She asks if it would be too much information, and he says it might be. On reflection, she’s better off not knowing.

Sometimes all we want is a taste; other times there’s no such thing as enough. The glass is bottomless, and all we want is more.

Wrap-up time! Karev and Izzie are with Scott, who’s awake after surgery. Burke is staring at his now less-congested surgical board (a point of contention earlier, given the “bumping”). Lea is giving a statement to the police about the crash. The doll heads are finally in the biohazard bin. Let us hope it’s also designed to contain demonic beings. Burke and Christina have a long moment of eye contact; he’s clearly regretting the break-up on some level. George and Derek are saving the almost-donor, while Burke watches. He steps away, and Meredith is there, staring intently down at Derek. She’s clearly not without regret herself.

Sum it Up

Okay. The theme for this episode I think was supposed to be about want and desire. Mr Hubble fit into this, sort of, as did the whole break-up regret vibe from all those who have broken up. But really, this episode is more about the sides to every story. No long-form plot developments here other than some discussion of Richard’s lack of home life, and Addison’s attempt to explain herself. We do get more insight into Alex’s past. Main patient stories were ethical dilemmas. How far do you go to “save” a patient that can’t be saved? Should the son donate his liver to an abusive father? Great acting from Romy Rosemont in particular, but this patient story just didn’t grab me, except to want to yell at Christina. The doll head x-rays are going to give me nightmares, but otherwise? Sort of a big “meh”. Overall rating: 6/10

Hero of the Episode: Alex Karev. 100%.

Zero of the Episode: No question; it’s the abusive asshole of a husband.

Literally Incredible: George being tasked with working on the DOA patient. It’s true. they do checks to make sure someone’s dead, but if someone’s dead and has been for 20 minutes, they don’t devote an intern to performing procedures with no chance of working at a very leisurely pace on what is essentially a corpse.

Did you like this episode? Hate it? Just want to tell me how much my writing sucks? Leave a comment below with your rating and what you thought overall! Alternatively, you can let me know on Twitter!

Recap: Season 2 Episode 1 – Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head

March 16, 2022 by Torran

In which we learn the truth about Addison and Derek.

Derek Shepherd and Addison Montgomery stand opposite each other, paces apart, arguing, in front of a window through which torrential rain is clearly visible — *“Look if you want to take this outside we’ll have to take a literal raincheck; it will take hours for both of our hair to dry if it gets wet.”*

Never mind previously, it’s LAST SEASON on Grey’s Anatomy: (So we’re going to skip a lot and get to the relevant parts.) Meredith and Derek! Derek is married! Christina and Burke! Christina’s pregnant and Burke doesn’t know! Webber had a brain tumour removed and knows about Meredith and Derek! Burke and Derek were both promised Chief when Webber retires! Meredith’s mum has Alzheimer’s and she’s only told Derek! Alex gave (nurse) Olivia syphilis who in turn gave it to George, leading to George punching Alex!

But sometimes you’re faced with a cut that won’t heal. A cut that rips its stitches wide open.

We open on Meredith drowning her sorrows in a bar, and confiding in the barkeep. She’s been there once before – presumably when she met Derek for the first time. More importantly, she does such a good job of eliciting sympathy from the barman that he gives her her drink on the house. If it’s free drinks in exchange for misery I wager I could get a drink or two from this guy. Cut to the hospital, where we resume almost exactly where we left off. Derek is asking Addison what the hell she is doing there. She responds with some cutting remarks about how he’s with Meredith because she’s “sweet” and the “anti-Addison”.

Score: Addison 1 – 0 Derek. She also remarks about the fact that he left everything in New York – friends, practice, etc – for Seattle, so we get a bit more info about the past of the Mysterious Dr Shepherd. She enjoys stringing him along with a line about being there to get him back, via alcohol and incredible sex, before coming clean – the Chief has brought her in to work on a case. Welp.

Upstairs we have the aftermath of Alex’s encounter with George “Fists of Impotent Fury” O’Malley. Karev’s a bit cut and bruised, but fine. He insists he could’ve taken George if he needed to – he just didn’t want to injure his hands, as he wants to go into plastics. Sure, Alex. Sure. We all believe you, especially Izzie (reader, she does not). George, meanwhile, is walking into the same bar as Meredith. Has someone had a budget increase? I sense more money for sets. He’s greeted with a rousing cheer, because pretty much everybody dislikes Alex, and as we’ve established, nothing spreads faster than gossip at Seattle Grace. Except maybe syphilis.

Christina’s with him, and he’s being exhorted to brag, but one suspects given WHY he punched Alex out, he’s probably none too keen on the whole story. They join Meredith at the bar for a cheery game of “Whose Life Sucks the Most?” Meredith comes clean about Derek’s hot, hot wife (expect me to adore Kate Walsh this much for the show’s entire run, because I do). Naturally, George then sprays himself with his own drink, liberally. As he goes off to clean himself, Christina finally comes clean – she’s pregnant. She wins!

Or rather, loses. But only for a second! Turns out nobody’s life is going to suck today as much as the barman (whose name, we learn, is Joe). Joe holds his head for a second, and then full-on collapses. At least he’s in a bar full of doctors! A crowd forms and… yep, cue titles!

Title card for Grey's Anatomy — *There is no music! No inane lyrics! No weird hospital bed sex! I can stop screencapping the titles every episode!*

Joe’s awake, and pissed that they called an ambulance, while Meredith, Christina and George try to help him. All the while they’re discussing Christina’s revelation – she hasn’t revealed her relationship with Burke yet. Meredith’s still shocked she’s seeing someone, which Christina uses as an opportunity to point out that if George is getting some, it shouldn’t be surprising that she is (true). Joe refuses to take an ambulance because the hospital is across the street, so they hurry after him so he doesn’t collapse into traffic or some such. How responsible!

Over to the hospital then, and we’re back to Meredith and Christina discussing the pregnancy. Christina’s still clear on her actions, particularly in light of her view of the implications for her career – she feels like she’d have to switch out of the surgical program into something like gynaecology (“the vagina squad”, ha), or dermatology. Meredith keeps pushing her to find out who the father is, but Christina absolutely isn’t telling. They wander off in the direction of George and Izzie, who’s on shift, and catch her up on Derek’s not-so-secret wife.

They’re discussing Joe’s case when over walks his doctor – despite the fact that Derek was leaving the hospital with Meredith seemingly not 30 minutes ago, he’s Joe’s doctor. Continuity has given way to dramatic license. Joe has an aneurysm that’s impossible to clip, unless you’re either a magician or performing a “standstill” operation. What is that, you ask? We don’t yet know, but it’s apparently super cool. He tries offering the case to Meredith, who is a) sensible enough to say she can’t because she’s drunk and b) not into being bribed by surgical cases. I do enjoy all three interns blocking his path to Meredith to give her time to get away from him, though.

Despite their mutual hatred for Derek at this moment, Christina snaps. The surgery is just too cool. Guess she’s back on shift, then. Meredith almost makes it out of the hospital before Derek catches up to try to explain. She’s not interested. He should’ve come clean about this when they met, or at any point in the last few months. Him insisting that he knows how she feels only fuels the rage, to the point of mentioning how much she’d like to run him over. Go Meredith! George rushes out with an umbrella to walk off with her, and Derek stands there, sadly, in the rain. Ah, Grey’s Anatomy, at one with the world of cliches – sad, handsome man watching woman he loves walk off with another man in the pouring rain.

Filled with his own fury, Derek storms into Webber’s hospital room, except Addison’s already in there, joking with the Chief. She exits, leaving Derek to have a go at the man who is recovering from brain surgery. Hmm. Webber insists that it’s all about the medicine, because Addison is the best in her field, and when Derek pushes it, gets very firm – Derek’s private life doesn’t factor into his decision-making process. In an additional blow, Burke is being handed Chief while Webber is recovering. Do you remember when I said in a former episode that the consequences should largely fall on Derek as the one in a position of authority? Lo, the consequences of his actions! It’s because he’s sleeping with Meredith. Fair.

Derek Shepherd stares into the camera, puzzled and shocked. — *“But I’m too pretty to face consequences for my actions! Just LOOK at this hair!*

It’s the next morning now (after some footage of Meredith in bed, alone), and Christina is going through all the instruments on an instrument tray. Burke, interrupting, is there to ask her out on an Actual Date – they have the night off, and he’s made reservations at his favourite restaurant. Christina is thinking about it, and lets him know. He’s not stupid, so he knows she really means she’s thinking about whether to continue the relationship, and leaves her be, but she still hasn’t told him about the pregnancy.

After some locker-room talk about pacifism and sloppy work (it might be time for another round of No One is Good at their Job!), we catch up with Burke trying to deal with the Chief’s workload, much to the amusement of Patricia. Shepherd congratulates Burke through his teeth, followed by a brief pissing contest, nothing new there. The topic moves on to Derek’s wife, at which as if by magic she appears. And in what is absolutely an abuse of power, she’s requested Meredith for her case. But we’ll allow it for the sake of drama. Derek looks at Burke as if to ask why he has ruined his life. Burke merely stalks off, smiling. Ah, revenge.

The case in question is a super complicated twin thing – basically they’re sharing blood vessels and one twin is getting too much blood flow, the other too little. It turns out Addison is one of a literal handful of surgeons who can fix it, so the surgery is scheduled for tomorrow, and she gets to spend today torturing Meredith, including mentioning her sleeping with her husband where the patient can hear. Oh dear. George also has a special assignment: the Chief wants him to spy on the rest of the hospital and be his eyes and ears. George is a surprisingly good spy because everyone ignores him, so he gets his first bit of info pretty easily – Derek telling Burke off for giving Meredith to Addison.

But he also wants Burke’s help with the standstill surgery, and Joe is where we head next. A standstill surgery involves literally killing you! They’re going to stop his heart, drain his blood and replace it with saline, repair the aneurysm, and then bring him back in under 45 minutes. Folks this is a real thing. Science is awesome. Joe trusts them to do the operation, but is concerned about the cost – he’s uninsured, and doesn’t think he can afford it. It’s a couple hundred grand. I have never been more grateful to live in a country with socialised medical care. To anyone reading from a country where they don’t have it, you have my deepest sympathies.

Izzie and Alex are dealing with the consequences of their sloppy charting from the night before. Izzie appears to remember literally everything about their patients; Alex remembers nothing except for “hernia chick” or “colon dude”. In this scenario I am an Alex. His attitude to the patients is that they’re slabs of meat, surgeone are butchers, which is… grim. Izzie, being Izzie, sees them as people. He’s also trying half-heartedly to get in her pants, in a manner guaranteed to turn anyone in a three mile radius off. People just NEAR Seattle Grace suddenly lost all sexual desire. He’s been dosed with the opposite of whatever aphrodisiac they put in the elevators.

In the stairwell, Christina and Burke come across each other, and he appears to now be angry about the fact that she needs time to think. He can’t figure out what she wants, so he’s decided to yell at her about it. She just doesn’t know yet, except for “stop yelling at me”. So naturally he kisses her, tells her to figure it out, and stalks off like a beanstalk full of wounded pride. Is it time for me to talk about how LITTLE chemistry these two have? Seriously. No chemistry. Nothing. That’s probably the fact that’s so startling to George, who’s watching them from the stairs above. The spy strikes again!

The Chief has a plate of Jello, which I can’t imagine him eating, and absolutely zero information from George, who is keeping quiet and pretending nothing is happening. Elsewhere, Joe gets a visit from Karev, and doesn’t hesitate to wind him up about the shiner he’s sporting. The docs and nurses on the floor give Joe a gift basket, so we can presume the whole hospital drinks across the road on the reg. He wants Karev to transfer him to another (presumably cheaper) hospital, but he won’t, because the medical care there is “bad”. Joe reckons he’ll lose the bar if he has to pay for his bills. The hospital’s own 007 is watching this unfold, of course, because George is everywhere now, which means he also knows Alex’s bar tab is close to $1k. Blimey.

A patient is lying in bed while Meredith Grey prepares to perform an ultrasound on her. — *“I’m sorry, ma’am, we appear to have made a mistake. You’re actually pregnant with a litter of puppies, because you are a stone cold b-“*

Meredith is back with the complicated twin surgery woman (see, I told you I’m an Alex), who is quite openly hostile to Meredith about her sleeping with Addison’s husband, because her husband left her for his secretary three weeks into her pregnancy. Grey holds herself together remarkably well under the circumstances, and exits the situation when the patient starts to go too far. Again, at any display of professionalism, I am stunned.

Christina is headed in to see Joe… and also vomit in the toilet attached to his room. Somewhat less professional. Even worse than the puking is that he knows it’s morning sickness! She reads him the riot act about keeping all of their secrets when they’re interrupted by Burke, and she struggles to recap the patient details while not vomiting (or spilling her own secrets). Also not spilling secrets is George, who is still telling the Chief precisely zero, so much so that he’s practising telling the Chief nothing while looking at adorable babies. At least he knows he’s a bad liar.

Meredith joins him and they commiserate about their lives. Meredith knows just how beautiful Addison is, and feels inferior, but George tries to cheer her up. She blames herself for trying to outdo Addison when she’s actually the victim, and Meredith is the evil mistress. Hmm. The thing that really cheers her up, of course, is George finally revealing that he saw ~~mommy kissing Santa Claus~~ Burke and Christina kissing. Meredith’s hypocrisy meter goes DING (in time with the elevator ding, that’s why you didn’t hear it), and she is off to confront her bestie.

There are lots of spurious claims here, because I for one remember Christina telling Meredith NOT to break it off with Derek, and defending them, on multiple occasions. But Meredith accuses her of being against their relationship and counselling her to break up with him, while doing the opposite herself. Christina explains that her and Burke aren’t exactly in a relationship (“[we’re in] Switzerland, it’s very neutral there”). She doesn’t want to talk about the pregnancy and whether she’s told Burke, or Burke at all. This is her private life and she doesn’t want to discuss it, to which Meredith (reasonably) asks why she was told about the pregnancy at all, and storms off.

Lots of storming this episode. Of course, from one enraging scenario to another, as Meredith finds herself back with Inappropriately Hostile Patient, who is sharing what she did when she found out her husband was cheating on her. Meredith is ignoring the hostility, though, because she’s Actually Doing Her Job (should be a parade, frankly), and has noticed something wrong on the patient’s ultrasound. Not doing his job? Burke, who takes the time (having overheard the tail end in Joe’s room, I presume) to ask Bailey who McDreamy is. I am, she deadpans, before walking out in disgust to go actually do her job. Go Bailey!

Derek and Addison are arguing over Meredith and oh boy, Addison gets super catty at this point (“so you recommend her […] but not for her surgical skills”, ouch), but Meredith Interruptus – there IS something wrong on the ultrasound and lab work also indicates a problem, she needs Addison to come confirm. And she’s still not talking to Derek. George has seen everything, once again, but heads back to the Chief to try and lie to him about that, and largely succeeds – except for something about Joe, TBC.

Fully confirmed is that our pregnant patient’s babies need their surgeries now – they’re starting to go into heart failure. It’s quickfire to the OR, and not just for her, Joe is on his way in too (barking instructions to be given to his staff). Turns out the thing about Joe with the Chief was George trying to get Webber to help Joe afford his surgery (pro bono, I assume). The Chief says no, and again, private healthcare systems are deeply unequal and unfair. They perform as much of Joe’s surgery as they can, and then they start cooling him down so they can kill him for a bit.

Up in the gallery, George is hard at work on a solution to help him out, talking with Bailey (really, everyone at this hospital must drink at Joe’s). She had a rough time through her intern year, and got to know Joe well, which just leads George to assume she slept with him, because he’s become too acclimatised to the soapy dramatic universe of Grey’s Anatomy and its sexy, sexy elevators. However, Izzie and Karev’s banter about them killing Joe gives George some sort of brainwave, and he runs off shouting “dead”, which is always comforting in a hospital, I’m sure.

It all gets a bit montage-y now, skipping around between locations. Joe is now officially dead, and they’re hard at work and on a timer, while Burke and Shepherd continue their pissing contest. No peeing in the operating room, lads. George is on the phone discussing paperwork submission, which needs to be done before midnight on the day of the surgery – presumably he found that loophole? Meredith is watching Addison operate, intently. Alex is trying to endear himself to Izzie, and it feels like he’s sort of succeeding. But the surgery is going too slowly. Still, they have to succeed, and Karev is willing them on, because everybody loves Joe.

Dr Richard Webber is looking out into his hospital room, exasperated, in his pyjamas with bandaging wrapped around his head. — *“O’Malley, I have a headache. Do you think that means you can donate my skull to science for the duration of it? No, because that would be ludicrous.”*

George is pitching his idea to Webber – he wants to donate Joe’s body to science for the next 17 minutes. It’s a privately-funded grant and they’re a teaching hospital, so no need for Webber to put his hand in his pocket. The Chief isn’t giving an answer, which just seems silly – this is an everybody wins scenario, Dr Webber! He dismisses George to think about it. Pressure on in the OR, as Shepherd is having trouble, but he nails it, the pissing contest is over, and it’s time to bring Joe to life (required listening at this juncture – Bring Me To Life by Evanescence).

After the surgery, Richard is waxing lyrical to Burke about the power kick, loneliness and such of being Chief. Burke is trying to tell him… something (maybe about him and Christina?), but the Chief won’t shut up. He’s praising Burke for putting the job first. Burke is suddenly less desperate to tell him something. He’s packing up his stuff from an on-call room when Christina encounters him, buzzing following the whole standstill thing, and wondering if he still has those reservations. But Burke has reservations of a different kind now – he’s seen how their relationship could hurt his career, so he’s ending it, “before it gets messy”. Just as she was about to come clean to him about her pregnancy. She’s… fine. Like a dog in a hat in a burning room.

George is hovering, waiting for the Chief’s response, because as it turns out he’s a terrible spy when actually trying to spy on anyone. He finally breaks, grows some backbone, and reveals that there’s a lot going on in the hospital, personal stuff, that he won’t be revealing – he only cares about helping Joe out. Thankfully, Webber agrees. Yay! Over to someone else with serious backbone, as we revisit our pregnant patient whose babies are doing just fine now. The patient asks for someone other than Meredith to do her follow-up care, due to the whole husband-sleeping thing. Addison is and will ever be a queen, so reveals the truth – she cheated on Derek, Meredith has done nothing wrong, and the patient owes her an apology.

This finally convinces Meredith to hear Derek’s side of the story, so she drives out to his trailer. This story is just sad – Derek came home one night, and found out that his wife was not just cheating on him, but sleeping with his best friend, Mark. He was hurt, and he left her, and came out to Seattle, and met Meredith. He tries to reassure her that she wasn’t just a rebound, although the analogy is so crap that I’m not even going to quote it. It’s not enough, anyway. She’s done.

The better you get at remaining neutral, clinical, cut, suture, close, and the harder it becomes to turn it off. To stop thinking like a surgeon, and remember what it is to think like a human being.

As our voiceover rolls, Karev heads in to see Joe. Joe’s heard the good news about the funding, which is nice. As George walks past, Alex calls him over, and mother of all that is holy, gives him an awkward hug, thanks him for what he did, and calls him champ. Izzie sees all this and gets a glimpse into Alex being an actual human. I sense a thawing of that relationship. Christina heads to Joe’s bar to see Meredith, and explains that she told Meredith because the clinic won’t let her make an appointment without someone to pick her up. Meredith is Christina’s person. She also reveals that Burke dumped her. They hug, sort of, although not without Christina making a snarky comment about it. It’s a sweet moment between the two of them, and the moment a thousand very gay fanfic ships launched (no, really).

Sum it up

Whoosh. Grey’s kicks it up a notch this season. I may have to re-evaluate some earlier episodes! This episode has laughs, people actually being competent, a super-cool surgery, and also felt a lot less disjointed than many season one episodes. The theme – surgery, humanity, and wounds that won’t heal – is absolutely all over the place, but from a story perspective this is a tight, well put-together episode that brings the story along, resolves a lot of dangling threads and sets us up for later developments, all without feeling rushed. Plus any episode with Kate Walsh gets an extra point from me, just because. This is a long season, so I’m not going overboard, but it’s a high-scorer. Overall rating: 8/10 cats

Hero of the Episode: Well, it has to be Meredith, doesn’t it? Professional, there for her friend (mostly), and is actively good at her job this episode.

Zero of the Episode: It was always going to be Derek “oops forgot to mention I’m married” Shepherd, although Addison, Webber and Burke were all close runners-up. Abuse of power (and bitchiness), not helping a well-loved community figure, and breaking up with someone out of the blue for sheer ambition (plus pissing contest), all bad looks.

Literally Incredible: Alex behaving like a human being to George. I don’t buy it. Just kidding! The idea that George is an intern in a hospital tasked with literally spying on his colleagues and no one – including Bailey – saw him idling about and tasked him with 5 million things to do is ludicrous, even if he is somehow The Invisible Man when amongst his colleagues.